Overcoming - Expectations #8
In my opinion (of course, this all is), the best way to Overcome Expectations is to clearly state them. And, to clearly state them as early as possible. Unfortunately, that is the part about them that we, most of the time, completely skip over. An Expectation is a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. Or, that someone will or should achieve something. (both Google's definition)
I had my closest encounter with Expectations a few years ago. I can't remember exactly what I listened to, or what I read/heard, but it opened up my eyes completely. In my separation (from my previous marriage), I did a lot of what I'm calling personal/self-work. Did some major Soul searching. It was like I had this major epiphany one day. For some years, I was mad, disappointed, and hurt over things not turning out the way that I had expected them to. Before entering into every situation, marriage, relationship, etc., we have this image in our head of what we expect things to be like. A preconceived idea of what would be the right way for things to go. As time went on, more things kept happening that started to brew up feelings of failure. This is what I realized - Over time, I inwardly became disappointed over failed Expectations. The reason this happened is that, in the beginning, I failed to be clear about what I was expecting. If you fail to state what it is that you are expecting, how can someone fully meet your Expectations? That's like someone getting a new job. Then, they get fired for something they were never even told about. It's completely unfair! So Unfair that they now have programs (like Unemployment Comp) to aid with that. So, how come we don't apply this in our personal lives? We often have bouts of not talking to our friends over something they did, but in reality, we never told them they couldn't do it. OK, I'll give it a chance-Maybe they did something that offended you. You let it go. Then they do it again! That's because you didn't put your limits/boundaries out there, available for people to know what you expect in your surroundings.
I am clear that communication is difficult for most at times. But hopefully (if not already), you soon get to a place where speaking up for yourself is a priority. I'm not saying you have to always be the one to tell it like it is. But, there is a balance for everything (I'm a Libra, so, of course, I'd say that). Just like there are times to be quiet, there are definitely times to speak up. Sometimes, we are bold in certain areas or topics. What we want to be more mindful of are those areas where our vocal ability is weak. We end up always suffering in silence in that area. Whatever it is. It can be with our kids, relationships, marriages, financially, or anything. Anything that contributes to your well-being/life is a subject we have the right to speak on. Why don't we speak up about our Expectations more?
Do you actually know what your expectations are? Do you know what you want? In Life? Just, in general, what are your goals? I have always had goals. Since my teenage years. I had clear goals and I stuck to them. I would say I followed my goals regardless of what anyone else thought. But everyone else seemed to agree with me. I was so sure of what I expected to do with my life that everyone around me believed it. I was very vocal about my Expectations! It works out better when you are clear about You. People love to give their opinion. Their point of view on what you should be doing. That's natural. But who cares? It is simply just that, only their "point of view". It's not law, or your path, or deemed to be used as your guide. You have to know for yourself which direction you are trying to go in every area. Be clear about what you expect, then, put in full effort towards it!
That can take some time to do. Don't expect to wake up tomorrow and just know every single thing you want in every area. However, do take some time and get to know yourself. We have so many daily distractions in the world that separate us from our true selves. Oftentimes, we will have to make a continuous effort to focus and figure out our own path. Most people haven't heard this before, but IT'S OK TO WANT WHAT YOU WANT AND EXPECT WHAT YOU EXPECT! And Only that!
Growing up, the world around us will teach us that you have to fall in line, complete certain patterns in a certain time, or simply that your inward desire is wrong and you should desire something different (most likely whatever they believe). That can make those of us who know what we expect to feel like our standards are too high. That we should pull back, which most times causes us to settle for something less. It'll make us begin to rethink our own choices. Make you wonder if the things you expect are correct. Well, no one can fully answer that, except You! I'm not claiming that just because you're clear on your Expectations, life will go perfectly. I am saying that having a clear goal will aid in keeping focus and staying true to yourself. My most important point in this would be to share your Expectations with those working close to you. Those who you are expecting things from. Or those with whom you are working on a goal. They need to understand what you expect so they can stay on task as well.
Especially family! It's better if everyone can be on the same page and working towards the same goal, at least in a few areas. Your family should know what your plans and goals are individually and as a unit. We should also know what our kids expect from us. Not so you can do everything they ask, but for clarity. I know when I was younger, I was watching some things going on with the adults, and I disagreed. I was never able to express that. So knowing a few things (and Expectations) from the kids' view is always helpful as well. (Plus it'll help guide you more on their personality as well. I'm always chatting with my kids. We have to communicate! We must have a clear view of the Expectations pressed upon us as well as the ones we hold most important to Us!
In my view, Expectations are not The Blueprints For Disappointment. For me, they are The Foundation For Which All My Goals Begin. My Expectations Precede Me To Greatness. They Set The Standard For All I Attract Into My Life. Love, Friends, Business Opportunities, and the list goes on!
-Always Overcoming
Please Feel Free to Leave A Comment & Thanks From My Heart For Reading
