Overcoming-Hair #10

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    When it comes to my Hair, I've been through (most of) it all. My hair became my own responsibility starting young. I had this natural ability to see a style that I liked and could duplicate it, without help, on myself or on others. I say that my Hair journey began around 10 or 11 years old. That's the age I began to do my Mom's and her friend's hair. The "French Roll" was the first style I started doing. I used to stuff it with an old sweat sock. Then I moved on to use skills I learned when I was younger, like putting rollers on wet hair extensions and microwaving them dry to get curls fast. I was unstoppable once I learned I could teach myself hairstyles. There was no YouTube back then. I had to learn from my imagination. I loved it! Everything about hair. I loved it and I learned it all!

 And then it happened. Our great altercation. The moment that negated my belief that I could always manipulate my hair to suit my needs. Look how I want, conform to my tools, and obey. And, no, I'm not even talking about the grey hair. That was a warm-up lesson. I'm talking bout hair loss.
A few months after I officially decided to separate from my previous marriage, the stress I carried was too much of a force on my hair. So, it did its own thing and quit. I lost a section of hair the size of the palm of my hand. I ended up rocking my edgiest cut, keeping only the top section of my hair, and everything else was bald. I got so much attention and compliments on that hairstyle, like I was a mainstream Rock Star! But deep inside, I hated it, and I hated that it was so short. I had worn short cuts before. This one hurt solely because it wasn't my choice. And, when I went to the Doctor, there was no explanation except "stress".
Then, it happened again, two years later (while separating again-yes I went back), the same thing. In addition, I also gained allergies to things that were imperative for my Cosmetology career. Hair color, Relaxers, and even Synthetic Hair were showing up, saying that they didn't like me either. Burns, rashes, face/lip swelling, and the list goes on. I never gave up. I just stuck to a simple hair routine, and it eventually grew back. Even though it came back with more grey than ever, I managed it well as I went through a great time of my life. I was in my early 30s, separated (for real this time), learning more about the world, making changes to my life, and doing things I never dared (against the way I grew up), but having great experiences from it all! I was doing my own hair. Consistently deep conditioning it, blow drying it, and styling (either my own hair flat ironed or a cute weave). From that commitment, my hair grew stronger again.

My best hair experience started back in 2018. I had gotten married and decided to move to Florida. Two nights before we left, I saw a video of someone with the same wet hair texture as I have, transforming their hair into a beautiful "wash-n-go" curly style. It looked so beautiful to me, and I was amazed by how my natural hair could look, so I wanted to try it. Wanted to try "going Natural," that is. I had done Natural Styles before (of course) plenty of times throughout my life. But the thought of using all that time daily to style my natural hair seemed like too much for me. But once I saw that video, I decided to go for it! I got the idea to take my power back from previously losing my hair by shaving it off myself on purpose. So I took clippers, parted out the top of my hair (since I liked that style previously), and shaved everything else. This was absolutely just as empowering as it sounds! I felt free, got plenty of compliments, and most importantly, loved my hairstyle. This was the beginning of the great relationship my hair and I have now. Now, I'm entirely natural (in the full sense of the word). It's been 15 months since I've used heat, and continue with another natural hair regimen. This time, I wash and deep condition weekly with co-washing and protective styles in between. Miraculously, my hair has grown the longest and healthiest it has ever been.
So, the question still stands. How do we Overcome this Hair?  I'd say by learning it. It wasn't until I became fully aware of how to take care of my hair and what it needed in its natural state that it became not only the healthiest but, the easiest ever to manage. Yes, you will have Hair experiences along the way that don't go perfectly or that even cause damage. But never give up on your hair. It is your crown! Learn about your own texture, heritage, and family's hair history. There's so much information out there now that breaks down all the useful products for your specific hair type. Whatever your hair status is, be comfortable, content, and confident. Your hair will love you, and it will show!

-Always Overcoming

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